if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize