Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
A+ Viking dick
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
