I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
