did you get engaged???
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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