Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
