i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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