Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
