Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
