I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
