Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
