two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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