An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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