I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
a search helicopter?!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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