You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize