Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
