I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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