what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
