every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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