You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize