sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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