It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize