i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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