He had one of those small greek statue penises
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
