is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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