he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My dick has a subreddit
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
