i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
