When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's shark week go big or go home
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
