I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Randomize
