We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
