It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
