She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
