and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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