oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she smelled like a LAN party
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
