I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
