There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
