I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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