I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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