my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She even gives head with a lisp.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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