dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
They took my balls.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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