if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
