my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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