I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
