Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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