You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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