u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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