I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
