I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
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Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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