Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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