when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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