This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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