Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
