Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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