At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He passed out mid-signature
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
