I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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