Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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