I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Can vaginas get frostbite?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
