He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Michael Bay diarrhea
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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