I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
