I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
