Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
