I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
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So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
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I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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