BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
